The Paradox of Perfectionism

In our Clutter Diet message boards recently there have been some good discussions on perfectionism. When someone thinks of a perfectionist, they often picture a "neatnik" who is exquisitely organized. I put a picture of Froot Loops cereal here because one of my nieces, who has perfectionist tendencies, used to sort her Froot Loops and eat them one color at a time.

Ironically, perfectionism can create a surprisingly opposite result, because of "all or nothing thinking." It's a fallacy in thinking where if you can't do something perfectly, you don't want to do it at all. Sometimes the most cluttered spaces result from this thinking pattern. The cure? Just doing something and not worrying about getting it perfectly right. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

"Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person."- Dr. David Burns

Is perfectionism holding you back? Are you holding out for the perfect time, the perfect product, the perfect system?  The perfect time is NOW, and the perfect system does not exist.  Just do it!

Comments

[Sarah Kimmel]

Wow, I never realised this was part of my "perfectionism" but I used to sort the Crunch Berries and eat all the "crunches" before all the "berries".

[amisare waswerebeen]

The "all or nothing" is a problem I have and it's really hard to just get through it and do it. I didn't know that's what it was until about a year ago. It can be really frustrating.

[pfirsch]

I am definitely an "all or nothing" perfectionist. It's hard, because I get overwhelmed with large tasks and end up not getting anything done.

[Truly Srumptious]

Once I heard "better done than perfect," my life changed (for the better!).

I still have to pay attention: am I not doing it because I'll only do it if i can do it perfectly? The answer is not always "yes," but when it is, I tackle the task imperfectly.

[Karen402]

I also get overwhelmed by big organizing projects. I feel I have to work until I'm finished and this just make me procrastinate more. I'm going to try to just tackle the project for a limited amount of time each day. Hopefully my desk will be a lot more organized in a week or so. Thanks, Lori. Ypu rock!

[Karen402]

Thanks Lori. You rock.

Can't get rid of all my perfectionist tendencies at once!

[Glenna Sadler]

I have the all or nothing mentality. Along with that, I homeschool a 9 year old with learning difficulties, teach in a group setting once a week, teach at church, work in AWANA, and attend school for myself. I have no real help. I am trying to teach the 9 year old house keeping skills. We all know that it takes longer to teach a child to do the work than to do it ourselves. My husband works a full time job and runs a business on the side. Our lack of ability to get a handle on our house cleaning has contributed to, or lead to, problems with depression. I am sick of sitting in the clutter, but I don't always have the energy to do anything about it. I came to this site looking for help. This is the right place for me. I now start the day with a plan, and, in time, I will succeed. Thank you.

[JBO]

I was raised by an all-or-nothing perfectionist and for a long time thought that that was the ONLY way to approach tasks. Finally I figured out that doing a little at a time allows you not only to stay sane and prevent being overwhelmed, it allows gives you downtime between phases of the work, and that time allows you the chance to think of parts of your grand plan that don't work and refine the project. It's less work in the long run than doing it all according to your original vision, only to realize soon after that that your system doesn't work and you have to start over (a perfectionist would start over, anyway, even if the plan's design had good parts, too). It seems to me that this it-won't-work-I-have-to-start-over possibility is what keeps a lot of people from trying in the first place.