Letting Go of Sentimental Attachments

I worked with someone recently who is very sentimental. As we went through numerous stacks, files, and piles of papers, he really enjoyed the trip down memory lane...however:

• He did not realize he had all of it, and what he did know he had, he could not find.
• The memorabilia was clogging up areas of the house that were needed for more urgent and useful functions. 
• It was not marked with any identifying information to make it meaningful to anyone else.
• He was not enjoying any of the memorabilia in his daily life.
• He wasn't sure how to discriminate which were keepers and which weren't.

Experiences and people make memories, and memories make us who we are. But we must realize that things are not memories--they only represent the memories. We simply can't keep it all!

Here are some options to help you let go:

Replace it: Find an alternative way to preserve your memories that allows you to discard or donate it and free some physical space. You can take a photo of yourself with the item and then give it away, or maybe you can Scan items and keep them electronically.
 
Send it to a better home: Give the item to another friend or family member (only if they really want it and have space!) so you can visit it occasionally and enjoy it.                       

Limit it: Just like wine, memorabilia is best enjoyed within limits. Use our "limiting container" concept to force yourself to prioritize. Find a container that you feel is a reasonable size to contain your memorabilia, allowing adequate room to grow. When your chosen container is full, make a rule for yourself that you can no longer add to it without removing something else first. You'll be surprised at how some things diminish in importance over time.

If you must keep it, honor it and enjoy it.  Don't just stash it away. Find a way to display it and make it a part of your life. Here are some ideas: 

• Paper memorabilia such as drawings, photos, documents: Begin with creating a system to organize it as it comes in so that you can do other things with it when you're ready. File it and mark it with identifying information such as time and place.
• Home movies and slides: Older reels of film and slides can easily be transferred now to more modern formats. Do you and your family the favor of converting them before they deteriorate and people forget the details they contain.
• Small token items and collections: Put items in a shadowbox or cabinet or showcase them on a shelf. Depending upon the type of collection, you may be able to create other artwork with it to display in your home. For example, if you collected shells on favorite beach vacations, you can use them in your home decor with candles, or you can glue them on picture frames or make a collage of some kind.
• Clothing: Repurpose the fabric into stuffed animals, quilts, pillows, remade outfits, and blankets. T-shirt quilts can be made to preserve memories from sporting events and club activities.

We must realize that we diminish the importance of the truly special pieces if we try to keep everything that is simply ho-hum. Prioritize, treasure, and enjoy!

(This is an abridged version of an article I just wrote for ConnectionsForWomen.com-- Click here to read the full version.)

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Comments

[Sherri (SereneJourney)]

This is a great post. I actually do a lot of what you suggest.

I had so many sentimental attachments and started going through them (being ruthless) when we downsized our home. I took a lot of pictures, as I realized it's not the physical thing that I was attached to but the feelings or memories that it invoked.

I also make sure to honor everything that I did keep. My goal was to have nothing in "storage" which has worked out remarkably well! Items that were tucked away are now proudly displayed in our home.

I couldn't agree with you more about diminishing the importance of truly special pieces when we keep everything.
Sherri

[Catherine]

Excellent tips, Lorie, thank you! I wrote a personal story about decluttering a sentimental item here: http://www.nurturinghope.com/decluttering-stuff/2009/01/ .

[heatherK]

I am SO glad that you pointed out the importance of labeling paper memorabilia with identifying information. I'd like to suggest that EVERY item you keep be labeled in some way with not only time/date and place (if applicable), but also context (purpose, stories, etc.) Also, get into the habit yourself of putting the date on everything you send out (e.g. photos, Christmas photo cards, letters, etc).

When I worked in the archives, I truly learned that unless an item (photo, document, or object) has a date and identifying information and context, it has no value.

[Gwen]

I had a drawer full of old tee shirts from highschool and college events, so I made a large colorful quilt with all of them! It is very soft and warm with lots of fun memories attached.

This was a great reminder that I need to sort through my old boxes of "memories" and preserve the most special items... and toss the rest! Thanks!

[chaotic kitten]

Thank you so much for this post! Sentimental items are one of the hardest areas for me to tackle. I will re-read this post a few times and hopefully absorb enough of it to allow myself to let go of a bit more :)

[Joan]

Love this post!

Like Gwen, I had a ton of old T-shirts from school, and also shirts that had been my dad's (he passed away when I was in middle school). I also have - and I'm not embarrassed to say it - a "blankie" from when I was in third grade; I'm 26 now. Well, you keep what passes for a blanket for 20 years and see how it looks; I was able to declutter AND save the blankie by turning it into a patchwork quilt of my shirt collection. There's more shirts than blankie now, but it's really meaningful. (And Hubby doesn't mind, bless him.)

[Ruth]

When I watch "Clean House" I always wonder why people don't just take a photo of the things that have slight sentimental value but no use and make an album to look at and enjoy.