Someone once told me that people come into your life for either a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I have definitely found this to be true. (Read here for a beautiful writeup of this Reason, Season, Lifetime idea, author unknown.) Relationships for a reason teach you a brief important lesson and then end. Relationships for a season bring you joy, teach you something, give you a number of experiences, and then eventually fade away. And lifetime relationships are those that keep building and growing and appreciating.
I was thinking that our relationships with memorabilia are the same way. There are mementos you enjoy for a short amount of time, like a child's kindergarten scribble. Then there are mementos you keep displayed for a little while, like your homecoming mum in high school, which are discarded when the next stage of life begins. And then we have the photos and keepsakes that you'll keep for the rest of your life, like your wedding invitation or a lock of your baby's hair.
I do think that some people make these distinctions more easily than others. I know some of my clients see all of their memorabilia the same way, all of it with equal importance. We often advise people to use a "limiting container" to store your memorabilia, so that when the container is full, you are forced to prioritize what to continue to keep. So now when you're prioritizing the contents of that container, you can ask yourself, "Is this memento something I have enjoyed for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?"
Certainly we all have the odd mementos that are especially meaningful to us. My grandfather, Papa, was famous for offering you a stick of Wrigley's Doublemint gum, and then tearing the stick and giving you only half. I guess he wanted to stretch the pack of gum and save money, and when we were kids we'd whine to our mom about why we didn't get a whole stick! When he passed away, a bunch of us grandchildren each took a half a stick of Doublemint and put the other half in his suit pocket. I have that half-stick of gum still in my jewelry box-- it's there for a lifetime.
What are your most unusual keepsakes? Do they need to be around for a lifetime? Do you have trouble prioritizing your keepsakes? Share your stories in the comments. (See also previous post, Letting Go of Sentimental Attachments)
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I have a really old rose from a high school dance. It's actually more like a bunch of crunched up petals and crumbs. For some reason I still keep it. Guess I figure if I've kept it this long why get rid of it. It doesn't take up any room.
Posted by: Jim Deitzel | March 19, 2009 at 01:49 PM
Mine is a giant engagement ring my husband made out of pvc pipe, a battery operated light, and glue on gems - before he had enough money to buy a ring.
http://twitpic.com/2934z
It has fallen on the floor and may of the "gems" have been lost, but I still love the creative gesture.
Posted by: allison carter | March 19, 2009 at 02:00 PM
I love your memory of Papa, Lorie. Thanks for sharing!
Melissa
Posted by: Melissa | March 19, 2009 at 04:55 PM
I have a chocolate teddy bear (in the refrigerator) from my sr. prom. It lived in 2 of my parents' refrigerators for 7 years, then came to our house-over a decade ago!
Posted by: lfamous | March 19, 2009 at 05:38 PM
The half stick of gum goes back to post WWII days when gum was hard to buy. Papa and I were dating and we shared a stick of gum. That became a romantic part of our lives together for 53 years. It just proves that it's the little things that count.
Posted by: alice sheppard (memaw) | March 19, 2009 at 07:59 PM
My favorite memorabilia are used from day to day. They are the coffee mugs my children have given me as gifts while they were on separate vacations from me. I use one each morning rotating them and enjoying the memories they shared about their trips and the fact that they thought of me in this way.
Genny
www.connectionsforwomen.com
Posted by: Genny Esterline | March 20, 2009 at 01:24 PM
I have a large spoon in my kitchen drawer that was my Grandmother's. I remember her using it when I used to visit her in the summer and she would teach me about cooking. I found that it doesn't take much for a memory. I don't have to keep all of her dishes -- all I need is that one spoon because everytime I use it, I think of her.
Posted by: Cita Sue | March 27, 2009 at 05:13 PM
My most memorable memorabilia at the moment are a coupleof christmas tree decorations I got from a very close friend last year just before he died. He lived in Australia with his wife, and one of the decorations is a Surfing Santa.
I've got a few others that will be lifetime keepsakes like a coupe of teddy bears from when I was just a few months old - they all have fond memories associayed with them.
Posted by: How to detox | March 31, 2009 at 01:15 AM
Wow, I thought it was only my mom that did that! She only chewed half a stick at a time so that's all she offered. Her favorite was Spearmint flavor, my younger sister preferred Juicyfruit. Mom was cremated though so i just think of her every time I see a pack of Wrigley's gum! Strange coincidence, my son had me going through a box of memorabilia this week, looking for info so he could send for another copy of his birth certificate and it occurred to me I should sort through it again...
Posted by: Tracy | April 03, 2009 at 06:52 PM