How To Finally Change Your Ways

I am in love with a book again. This time it's called Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, by Chip & Dan Heath (they also wrote another very cool book, Made to Stick). I like it SO much I am going to write a series about it here on the blog for a little while each week!

I have said for years now that while, yes, I do have an expertise in organizing, I am really in the "personal change" business... because organizing is just a set of concepts that can be learned-- and actually implementing those concepts is where the real challenge lies. It takes effort and motivation to make the changes necessary to create new habits.

The Heath brothers have taken the wonderful analogy of a Rider and an Elephant and used it throughout the book as a framework for understanding the various ways we can help ourselves and others change habits. The Rider & Elephant represent the two parts of ourselves that duke it out over what we should be doing vs. what we feel like doing. (This analogy was first used by Jonathan Haidt in The Happiness Hypothesis.)

The Rider is the rational side of yourself, the part of you who is a planner and really understands the final destination and why you need to go there. The Rider makes menu plans, writes lists, joins the Clutter Diet® program, makes schedules, and really wants to do the right things. The Rider seems to be leading the Elephant, but unfortunately, the Rider is a tiny guy on top of a huge animal who is big enough to do whatever he wants to do. And while the Rider is great at analysis, sometimes the Rider can analyze too much.

The Elephant is the more emotional, instinctive side of yourself that may seek comfort, procrastinate, and want to stay in the covers in the morning. Often the short-term sacrifices that are required for making changes are difficult because the Elephant is looking for a quick payoff instead. The Elephant can choose to sit down in the road or head down the road the wrong way. However, because the Elephant is also very strong, if led the right way, it can get a lot done. The Elephant has a lot of power and energy.

In the next few weeks, I am going to explore the themes below that the Brothers Heath have outlined in terms of how they relate to organizing. We are going to learn how to:

• Direct the Rider,
• Motivate the Elephant, and
• Shape the Path.

Just this analogy alone has been very helpful to me when I am tempted toward instant gratification (like eating one more brownie)... I ask myself, "Who is in charge, my Rider or my Elephant?" And I have explained this analogy to my boys, so now I can ask them the same thing. Just that one question can really snap you out of it when you don't feel like cleaning up the kitchen, putting away your laundry, or doing other maintenance things around the house.

Next week, we explore ways to Direct our Riders! This stuff is so fascinating-- can't wait to share more! So who's in charge with you today? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Comments

[Carole]

Interesting. I've had a tough couple of weeks and haven't accomplished as much as I wanted to. My elephant has definitely been in charge.

I'm going to have to start asking that question more often.

[Michelle H]

Definitely sounds interesting. I look forward to your articles about this!

[Liz Jenkins]

Lorie - I loved this book - read it last week and it made a huge difference in how I look at my business and my clients. It also gave me some clarity on dealing with an issue in my neighborhood that I've been struggling with. Having a clear directive of what the change needs to be is way more helpful than complaining. Nice review & I'm going to tweet this!

[Ariane Benefit, ADD Coach]

LOVE this book Review Lorie! Creating an inner dialogue between the rational and emotional parts of ourselves IS a constant theme in ALL my coaching programs.

Creating real change requires resolving conflicts between intentions and actions, heart and head, needs and values and ultimately finding creative ways to meet BOTH our rational and emotional needs.

One can't be in charge of the other all the time, they have to work together for true life satisfaction. : ) I can't wait to read this book! Thanks for sharing. Another great book for ADDERs about integrating the right / left brains is called "Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the knot of ADD, Depression and Trauma" by Don Kerson,M.D. Check it out...it's truly mind blowing!